Kentucky

my little hermano jordan has been gone for a total of 5 months. CRAZY! where has the time gone? but at the same time he still has a year and a half left. either way i am so proud of that little guy! he is doing such an incredible job and i have never heard him so happy! he is loving every minute and although i miss him i am grateful for the opportunity he has to share the gospel and grow!!! so a couple weeks ago he sent me a few pictures of kentucky. i did some editing (because i am addicted and he asked me to) and sent them back to him. here are a few shots of his current casa!

welcome to the motherland

so for a couple days i have felt the need to update my blog. i just wanted to find a worthy topic that would best describe my move and how i was feeling. so what it boils down to is that i am freezing. constantly. i have come to terms with the fact that my toes and fingers will not be the same for probably 3 more months (if i am lucky. even now as i glance at my hands i notice how purply (yes, that is a word that is used most frequently in any state east of california) and dry they have become. not something i am too pleased with. note.to.self. buy some heavy duty lotion. anyways today i decided to forget to look cute strapped on some jeans, REI socks, Ugg boots, sweatshirt (over 3 layers of t-shirts), a jacket and of course a scarf. yep still freezing. tomorrow i will dry spandex under my jeans with gloves and see if that makes a difference.

overall i like provo. shocked? i know. but i am pleasantly suprised.

good bye kathlean st.

warning. this post may be a little dramatic.

today i leave my home behind. i am one of those lucky people have had the same home my whole life. sure i moved away for a couple years but at the end of the day it has always been here waiting for me. lots of memories were shared here with my family and friends over the years. i have lived in the same room, second door on the left. and while it has been my home for the past 24 years of my life it has always been my place of refuge. regardless of what was going on in my life i could always escape to my fremont home and jump into my bed and know that i could find comfort there. one of the hardest parts about all of this is not leaving my home behind but leaving the people. i know people have come and gone over the years but i am different here. i feel like i am my complete self. i love the people here and they love me. no one passes judgement and i feel that i can be myself. what excites me the most about moving is also a fear of mine. i get to be whoever i want in utah. i can be my best self. and so while i am closing this chapter of my life here in fremont i know that a whole other one awaits me. there will be some big decisions and changes made in the next year of my life that i feel will change the direction of my life. and so farewell 41121 kathlean st. thank you for preparing me for this step out into reality. be nice to me world, i am a little vulnerable right now.

in love

so last night i went to bed with a dragon. His name was toothless. actually last night i went to bed with my nephew Christian who only let me call him toothless the dragon. we had the cutest conversation and i was dying at the fact i didn't have a camera on hand to record it. BUT to the best of my knowledge i will try to recap the conversation!

Christian: (walking into the bedroom) when i get bigger you can ride on my back but for right now evan can ride on my back.
Me: Oh Christian I can hardly wait.
C: My name is not Christian its TOOTHLESS (as he is growling)
M: sorry toothless.
C: I am a Bugga (baby) toothless but when i get older i will be a Bluefur.
M: whats a blurfur toothless?
C: its a big dragon
M: Wow! Does dragons give aunties kisses?
C: yeah (gets really close to my face and lets out a giant) GROWLLLLLL. (rolls over laughing)
M: toothless i want a kiss
C: (kisses my hand and closes it) can you hold my kisses?

Oh my goodness. melt my heart why dont you chrissypoo.

i miss them already my little eva bugga and chrissy!

craving some milk chocolate

So it finally happened. Chris Brown FINALLY happened! Okay so before I jump into how amazing the concert was I feel the need to express my feelings about Chris and his past. The boy was an idiot and made a huge mistake. Nothing can fix what he did or certainly change it. But who am I to judge who he is and I gave him kuddos for recovering from the incident and continuing to push forward with his passion of music. I am not saying that what he did was right at all but boy can dance and I can appreciate that!

So the concert was AMAZING! I found myself becoming a 15 year old girl screaming and singing along with his music. It was him and me. Magical. I would kill to go another concert and by the end of the night I was beaming...I still am beaming.***I just had to. ps i got a new haircut!

nostalgia

Today was clean the garage day. oh boy. So what started out as something I was dreading suprisingly turned into a very delightful experience. I found over 100 pictures and letters from my life in Spain. I had forgotten how close I was to my friends there and all the memories that took place. I think it was exactly what the doctor ordered. Even though I haven't lived there for almost 8 years I still have that connection with those friends and those memories. I know I will feel exactly the same way about Fremont. It's okay to move on because those people in your life, the ones that touch your heart will always be a part of who you are. So to my friends in Spain who helped me become who I am, I say thank you. So before the days of digital cameras and photoshops some of you will remember photos like these. All natural!

These are some of my favorite people I have ever met.

dear santa

dear santa,

all i want for christmas is to have my fremont house forever.

love-rachel

YES I know what you are all thinking...selifish. AND it's true. Lately I have been acting a little selfish. I hate the idea of moving, I hate that my family sold all of my memories and is leaving for a vacation stop in San Diego. I know I am selfish. Well I WAS selfish. Last night at around 10:30 while I was STILL working I decided to listen to the Christmas devotional in the background. It was of course exactly what I needed to hear. So instead of spending the next 16 days counting down almost hoping the holidays can be over so I can rip this bandaid off and just wish my blessed house good bye I have decided to really try (yes try...not quite at do yet) to focus on what Christmas really is. So putting all emotions aside I decided to be more Christlike starting with today. Well all I am going to say is the big guy upstairs sure has a sense of humor! SO here comes the next 16 Christlike days!